Oratio Imperata

The lower half of my pants are wet after lashing rain and wading through a bit of flood near our place. I'm learning how true it is that the Pasong Tamo area floods during rainy season. But this is all good, all good. We've been having summer even in August. Some places have been declared in a state of calamity because there has been no rain. The rice fields have dried up and cracked, effectively killing what would have grown into rice stalks, causing millions of damage. The water level in dams has become so dangerously low that officials have warned they might have to ration water. And energy too might have to be rationed if it gets any worse.

Experts have said that it's because of global warming that Luzon and the Visayas is still in summer weather while Mindanao is in rainy season when it should have been the reverse. Last Wednesday, Cardinal Rosales called all the churches to pray the Oratio Imperata Ad Petendam Pluviam (Obligatory Prayer to Request for Rain) to be said in all Masses in the Archdiocese of Manila beginning Friday. Then on Monday morning, ABS-CBN said in their news the Church seems to have some real connection from above. A storm was coming and finally they said, rainy season is here.

True enough, it's been raining the whole day on Monday and today as well. Though they said it should rain for more days before we will have recovered, I'm really thankful to the Lord. Maybe the Lord was just waiting for our united prayer, for us to humble ourselves to ask for His help, realizing once again that without His power we cannot sustain ourselves.

I just pray this rain will continue. And pray that we, too, as a people continue to keep in our hearts that everything comes from Him, the Giver of all good gifts.

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Sickness and Life

I got sick two weekends in a row. I thought it was a flu the first weekend. You know, feverish, cough and colds. But I also had diarrhea to go with it. It was a bit weird but Bob said diarrhea is a natural companion of flu. Good thing June 11, a Monday was a holiday so I didn't have to go on sick leave. The next day, I still had to go on leave just to make sure I don't force myself and get worse in the process.

The weekend that followed, me and Dina, my officemate, had booktable at their Tahanan Village parish. We sold books by Bo and our magazines. By the time I went home, I was beat. The next day I forced myself to office though I was feeling really tired. I got worse the next few hours in the office, coupled again with diarrhea which started the night before. I decided to go on a half-day leave. The next day, I heeded my officemates suggestion and had myself checked. The doctor said I had to go through tests since he doesn't know also why I'm feeling as I do. Until now, I still don't know my condition since I haven't talked to the doctor though the assistant said my test results were all normal.

Anyways, getting sick helped me to realize that there are more important things in life than work even if it takes up most of our waking hours. I love my work, mind you. I love researching about articles to write for New You and Real Stuff in Kerygma, articles on health, beauty, the Church and finance. I love interviewing a person and writing how God worked in his or her life. I love researching and writing for Fish Magazine on the Bigfish section stories about saints, tidbits about the Church and our faith or answering questions about the same. I love managing Mustard, our kids magazine. I love my job, in short. Still, life is not my job. Life is bigger and I realized, more eternal, even as it may seem fleeting at times, ran over by daily concerns and minute details.

So I'm back in work now but with a different perspective. I will always have deadlines. I will always love to be pressured, at the same time. But I won't let them get in the way of living now. Hopefully. :)

Nada De Turbe

I've been wanting to write about grace for weeks now. But I've gotten so busy with work lately I've only had enough time to go home and sleep after working overtime.

It's been really busy at work, what with all the devotional sets we're trying to finish and the three monthly magazines that must come out on time, plus a new book by Bo I'm trying to coordinate, and old books for reprint. Last week, I added the pressure through a freelance writing work in Singapore which required me to submit three articles. The rainy season started and, just when thunder and lightning erupted, I turned on my laptop when I arrived home, and kaput! There goes my laptop. If that's not enough, Bob's schedule has been so busy lately and his computer has been acting up we had difficulty finding time to chat and/or webcam. And, of course, his coming over is still uncertain.

In my natural, human condition—which is to say, impatient—all the delays and stresses and lack of control would drive me up the wall. But grace, which is popularly described as unmerited favor or gift, has kindly descended on me and I was and am able to face the dissonances of daily living without going too berserk—just slightly so. Hahaha. There goes berserk. In fact, this whole thing has made me quiet down my spirit inside. The Lord has made me realize that my life has been characterized unnecessarily by impatience. The deadline is today so it must be submitted today. The computer guy said they will call so why aren't they calling? Bob said he will come this summer, when exactly? But the still small Voice has been saying to me through different ways how all these things that I can't control, need not be controlled. I don't need to smooth them out right away. The creases and folds in silk give it beauty and grace. The delays and slowdowns in life provide their own beauty—to my soul—if I will let it.

Grace is a beautiful thing. It's all free. Last Sunday, I felt the love of God so much after I received communion I cried. If you told me that I've been so holy that week, I'll argue with you. In fact, I was only able to attend one or two weekday Mass last week I felt like I lacked spiritual strength. But that's grace. It's for the undeserving.

Today, researching for saints to write for Fish October, I came across a quote from St. Teresa of Avila, one of my most favorite saints. It says: "LET NOTHING DISTURB YOU, NOTHING DISMAY YOU. ALL THINGS ARE PASSING, GOD NEVER CHANGES. PATIENT ENDURANCE ATTAINS ALL THINGS...GOD ALONE SUFFICES." Nada de turbe. And I am speechless.

The Rosary

I remember my younger years. My contact with God was yawning my way through a sermon. And wearing a rosary ring. I didn't actually pray the rosary but I wore that ring. Maybe it was superstitious of me, but I valued that ring, which I wore in my right forefinger. Then, one day, I watched a Sharon Cuneta and Robin Padilla movie--don't ask me what coz I forgot. But I found Robin so funny that I lost the ring laughing my way through the movie. That was the end of my rosary ring days.

When I had fears I couldn't seem to take hold of or when I couldn't sleep, I'd pray the rosary. That was the extent of my praying the rosary. I wanted to regularly pray the rosary but I just couldn't seem to go into it.

Last year, my close friend from way back elementary school sent me a real white rosary. She's now a cloistered nun in Italy. I really treasure that rosary from Inday Moquiring. I bring it with me in my bag.

My real relationship with the rosary started when I read this article about prayer helping us to calm down. It said in effect that even if you just say the "Our Father" very slowly, it will help you to calm down already. In short, it's healthy for you. Since I work in Cubao but live in Makati, I go through the gamut of riding a jeep and riding the MRT. Sometimes, I ride the bus instead of the MRT. Well, if you've experienced riding our jeepneys or buses, then you know that there are quite a number of times you need to calm yourself down. Otherwise, you end up shouting to the driver, or going down from a jeep/bus in a huff. Some of them really stretch your patience the way they drive. And since there's quite a bit of time from the Magallanes station to the Cubao MRT station, I have quite a bit of time to spare. So instead of just sleeping my way or staring at all the passengers and thinking all sorts of things, or worrying about all the things happening in my life, I decided to try praying the rosary.

Well, there's no mystery in my praying. I don't know if heaven actually merits my prayer. But it has helped me. When I have problems, I offer a decade for an intention (like my sharing yesterday). It sure beats worrying myself to death. And I can see the hand of the Lord answering my prayers. Sometimes I don't know what intentions to pray for and wonder who needs prayers. (If you have prayer intentions, you can email me at jsosoban@gmail.com. I won't charge for the prayer. :) The Lord has led me to read or hear of other peoples' stories and now pray for intentions I didn't think of praying before.

At the least, the rosary gives calmness and reassurance in the midst of our busy lifestyles. But I believe--and hope--that ultimately, it will make me like the woman I try to pray with when I say the rosary. That would make me be blessed indeed!

Dependence on God

In the world we live now, so-called modern, advanced, where everything seems to be reachable and attainable, God seems an outmoded idea. The mention of Him seems to mock at man's purported capacities, to make us seem small and incapable. It's no wonder that to speak of dependence on God would make one look backward, anti-modern and uncool.

Well, before I had my conversion experience, I felt a bit like that. I had to know, I had to be in command. It seemed shameful to be found out that I didn't know something. In short, I was an arrogant, know-it-all fool.

Praise God, I have learned a bit to acknowledge I need help. I was very happy today because I got a task done in the office. I had been setting it aside for days now. I felt overwhelmed and inadequate to do the task before me. I tried to think about what to do and prayed a bit. Finally today, I really felt I had to do something but I couldn't do it. So I offered a decade of the Rosary so the Holy Spirit will enlighten me what to do in my work. I arrived at the office and I forgot about it. Then, in the middle of the day, I just did the work. I got to do it. I was so happy. And so thankful to God. And to Mother Mary.

"When I am weak then, I am strong." Scripture is right. When I am weak then, I am indeed, strong.

The Word

It is easy to say "I will give the benefit of the doubt," but when push comes to shove, that can be very difficult especially when you really feel you are right and the other is wrong. The operative word here is feel. It doesn't mean that just because you feel it that you're necessarily right. It doesn't mean that I feel I'm right that I'm actually really right.

I had to learn that there is an objective right, whatever I may feel. This is where the Word is so important. And the Word will not have any power unless the mind agrees with it. "Do not conform yourself to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect" (Romans 12:2). When I went through a conversion experience, I became very hungry for the Word. I loved to read the Word. Slowly, I got to see how differently the Lord sees things compared to the world. Nowadays, the Word is my most important disciplinarian. The Lord uses It to speak and to convict me. Sometimes through the Bible when I read it, or through the Mass when I hear the Word spoken, or when the priest gives a sermon. Today, it was through the priest when I made my confession. When I shared something about injustice in my life, he said that there will always be injustice. Then he said that when I meet injustice, I should offer it to the Lord so that I may be sanctified by it. I needed to hear that reminder.

I try to read the Word daily. But don't think that It is always a high point. Many times, I don't feel anything. But I try to keep at it. I know that it gives me strength and guidance. It is not only a disciplinarian to me. It is also a most comforting source of strength and encouragement, a source of light like no other. Words are not enough to say how important the Word is to me.

The Benefit of the Doubt

Trying to live daily as a Christian in our fast-paced, tense and busy world can be a challenge. What principles can we try to live out?

I was working late. Trying to catch the train which ends its run at 10pm, I hurried to wait for a jeep. The jeep passed by while I was too far to call out. After waiting a while, I decided to find a bus to ride to be able to catch the MRT. I told the bus conductor when I got in that I'll just be going to the MRT station, quite near actually. When I asked how much it would cost, the guy gruffly grunted but didn't answer me. I wondered why he didn't seem interested to get my payment when these conductors are quick to ask for payment when you get into the bus. When we were near the MRT, the conductor left me (he was staying near my area) and went to the back of the bus. When I stood up to go down, I looked for him so I could pay my fare. The guy was looking at me all the time and just nodded and waived away my fare.

It is good not to think ill or to judge someone. We don't really know what's on a person's mind before a thing happens. It's better to always give the benefit of the doubt. Kindness may not be too far away from someone who seems gruff or abrupt, depending perhaps on our initial response. In that sense, we create our own world.

Iba Zambales Outing

 
 
 
 

These are some of the pictures during our company outing last May 11 and 12 in Iba, Zambales. I didn't like the place where we stayed; I felt my skin crawl. No, not the supernatural kind. That's how I feel when I don't think the place is particularly clean. The sand though was fine. It wasn't white as I'm used to in Bohol but it was fine and clean. And then we had a chance to snorkel at this coral reef area that the boatman said rises like an island when it's low tide. I got to see this small really blue fishes. They looked so amazing in their startling blue color.

Then we had fun at night. We had campfire and played games. We were subdivided into two groups and then each group had to fill up this small bottle with water from the sea. Since we were in our shorts and shirt, we had to device ways of bringing water from the sea. So some of us removed their shirt to soak in the water and squeeze water from when they reached shore. We also tried to half-swallow ocean water (salty!!!) and spit them out (yuck!!!) into the bottle. Marco, our TV guy who has an Afro hair, wet his hair then tried to pour the water into the bottle. Well, it wasn't easy to say the least.

The second game was a revised Charade game. Each team's representative who go in front to the game master must spell for his groupmate to guess a word or group of words. But...he must do so using his butt. It was a bit funny trying to decipher the letters while looking at someone's behind. It came to a climax when Ate Cindy represented our group and Bong represented the other group. As Ate Cindy said after, she got overtaken by her emotion. Instead of just spelling the letters through their butts, they spelled it through their whole bodies. They wiggled, slid, pushed up and down, sidled, danced. They looked so hilarious we forgot we were supposed to spell letters. We were trying to keep off from peeing in our pants because of laughter.

I had fun in that. Then, I had an excursion at the market with Ate Weng and Bimbim(not sure if this is the right spelling), Edwin's wife and their kid and yaya. We bought pastillas and mangoes. Zambales has the sweetest mangoes in the whole world according to Guiness so I made sure to buy a few kilos. I chose the green ones so they won't spoil on our way to the city. Iba is also well-known for their pastillas from carabao's milk. So I bought some too. That was my little version of a cultural experience given our short vacation.

It's really good to go out and explore. The first time I heard Iba, I thought it was some place at the end of the Philippines. Why, they have Jollibee and Chowking! If those two have reached your part of the Philippines, then you couldn't be too backward. Actually, Iba is the provincial capital of Zambales and they want it made into a city. It looked progressive to me, well, actually quite urban already. So that's my Iba experience...different but not unpleasant altogether. Enjoyable, in fact.

Cheapskate

Okay, okay. I admit it: I'm a UK lover. Yeah, the kind where you scramble clothes around and haggle with the salesgirl so you get the item cheap--even if it's actually already cheap. It's called ukay-ukay. It's our version of a rummage sale. The most famous of these ukay-ukay sites is Baguio. Yes, I've been there, too. Because ukay-ukay in Baguio is an accepted, and in fact, a must-do activity when you go to that summer capital, going ukay-ukay there is not as lowly as doing it in other places. You must brag that you've been to ukay-ukay in Baguio once you've accomplished the fact. The standard reply is, "Really?! Wow!!! Was it cheap? Can I see it?" You have reached a certain connoiseur status when they see your clothes and they like it because by then, you have their envy.

But as I told you, outside of Baguio, ukay-ukay is not as acceptable as say, going to an SM Midnight Sale. So I try to find my version of ukay-ukay, too. It's not actually for everyone. Only for people like me--trying to scrimp money while getting the best deal. So what I do is, if I have an item in mind I want to buy, I go through several stores, try to fit the clothes, keep the price in mind, and compare one item from another. For example, I wanted to buy surfing shorts. You know, if you buy a branded surfing shorts, it can get as high as P200 up. But I bought a surfing shorts in Bohol for P75. So it was too painful to part my money for something that would cost say, P120. No way. So off I go to my scrounging expedition.

Now, the first secret to getting good and cheap items is: you have time. If you need the shorts tomorrow, hello, how do you expect to be able to find and compare prices? Except if you go on leave and spend half-a-day or a day just going through different stores. So plan ahead. Give it a few months or a few weeks.

The second thing is, make sure you don't spend any further while doing it. I mean, if you have to go out of the way and spend the money you can save due to transportation, might as well not do it. In that I am "lucky." I live in Makati and work in Cubao. That means I could pass by Gateway and Araneta--even SM Cubao--if I want to without spending transportation cost.

The third one is, always be on the lookout. You never know where you happen to pass by. You can spend a few minutes just looking through their items even if you don't have to try on any of them.

So in my case, I went through several--and I mean, maybe more than five stores--just to find my a surfing shorts that was cheap and was good enough for me. Finally, one Saturday, I had a little bit time to kill and saw this store that I had passed by one time with myriad items. I came in and lo and behold, their beautiful surfing shorts cost only P50. Cheapskate heaven! After a try-out, I had definitely decided, this is the one. So on the day, I got my heart's desire...without sacrificing my purse.

The same thing happened a few hours ago when I was finally able to have my jpeg file for a 1x1 picture developed: 4 copies at only P15. You check out other photo shops and they will cost you P40 to P60. Why spend that much when you only need one picture?

So there...