I got sick two weekends in a row. I thought it was a flu the first weekend. You know, feverish, cough and colds. But I also had diarrhea to go with it. It was a bit weird but Bob said diarrhea is a natural companion of flu. Good thing June 11, a Monday was a holiday so I didn't have to go on sick leave. The next day, I still had to go on leave just to make sure I don't force myself and get worse in the process.
The weekend that followed, me and Dina, my officemate, had booktable at their Tahanan Village parish. We sold books by Bo and our magazines. By the time I went home, I was beat. The next day I forced myself to office though I was feeling really tired. I got worse the next few hours in the office, coupled again with diarrhea which started the night before. I decided to go on a half-day leave. The next day, I heeded my officemates suggestion and had myself checked. The doctor said I had to go through tests since he doesn't know also why I'm feeling as I do. Until now, I still don't know my condition since I haven't talked to the doctor though the assistant said my test results were all normal.
Anyways, getting sick helped me to realize that there are more important things in life than work even if it takes up most of our waking hours. I love my work, mind you. I love researching about articles to write for New You and Real Stuff in Kerygma, articles on health, beauty, the Church and finance. I love interviewing a person and writing how God worked in his or her life. I love researching and writing for Fish Magazine on the Bigfish section stories about saints, tidbits about the Church and our faith or answering questions about the same. I love managing Mustard, our kids magazine. I love my job, in short. Still, life is not my job. Life is bigger and I realized, more eternal, even as it may seem fleeting at times, ran over by daily concerns and minute details.
So I'm back in work now but with a different perspective. I will always have deadlines. I will always love to be pressured, at the same time. But I won't let them get in the way of living now. Hopefully. :)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
Nada De Turbe
I've been wanting to write about grace for weeks now. But I've gotten so busy with work lately I've only had enough time to go home and sleep after working overtime.
It's been really busy at work, what with all the devotional sets we're trying to finish and the three monthly magazines that must come out on time, plus a new book by Bo I'm trying to coordinate, and old books for reprint. Last week, I added the pressure through a freelance writing work in Singapore which required me to submit three articles. The rainy season started and, just when thunder and lightning erupted, I turned on my laptop when I arrived home, and kaput! There goes my laptop. If that's not enough, Bob's schedule has been so busy lately and his computer has been acting up we had difficulty finding time to chat and/or webcam. And, of course, his coming over is still uncertain.
In my natural, human condition—which is to say, impatient—all the delays and stresses and lack of control would drive me up the wall. But grace, which is popularly described as unmerited favor or gift, has kindly descended on me and I was and am able to face the dissonances of daily living without going too berserk—just slightly so. Hahaha. There goes berserk. In fact, this whole thing has made me quiet down my spirit inside. The Lord has made me realize that my life has been characterized unnecessarily by impatience. The deadline is today so it must be submitted today. The computer guy said they will call so why aren't they calling? Bob said he will come this summer, when exactly? But the still small Voice has been saying to me through different ways how all these things that I can't control, need not be controlled. I don't need to smooth them out right away. The creases and folds in silk give it beauty and grace. The delays and slowdowns in life provide their own beauty—to my soul—if I will let it.
Grace is a beautiful thing. It's all free. Last Sunday, I felt the love of God so much after I received communion I cried. If you told me that I've been so holy that week, I'll argue with you. In fact, I was only able to attend one or two weekday Mass last week I felt like I lacked spiritual strength. But that's grace. It's for the undeserving.
Today, researching for saints to write for Fish October, I came across a quote from St. Teresa of Avila, one of my most favorite saints. It says: "LET NOTHING DISTURB YOU, NOTHING DISMAY YOU. ALL THINGS ARE PASSING, GOD NEVER CHANGES. PATIENT ENDURANCE ATTAINS ALL THINGS...GOD ALONE SUFFICES." Nada de turbe. And I am speechless.
It's been really busy at work, what with all the devotional sets we're trying to finish and the three monthly magazines that must come out on time, plus a new book by Bo I'm trying to coordinate, and old books for reprint. Last week, I added the pressure through a freelance writing work in Singapore which required me to submit three articles. The rainy season started and, just when thunder and lightning erupted, I turned on my laptop when I arrived home, and kaput! There goes my laptop. If that's not enough, Bob's schedule has been so busy lately and his computer has been acting up we had difficulty finding time to chat and/or webcam. And, of course, his coming over is still uncertain.
In my natural, human condition—which is to say, impatient—all the delays and stresses and lack of control would drive me up the wall. But grace, which is popularly described as unmerited favor or gift, has kindly descended on me and I was and am able to face the dissonances of daily living without going too berserk—just slightly so. Hahaha. There goes berserk. In fact, this whole thing has made me quiet down my spirit inside. The Lord has made me realize that my life has been characterized unnecessarily by impatience. The deadline is today so it must be submitted today. The computer guy said they will call so why aren't they calling? Bob said he will come this summer, when exactly? But the still small Voice has been saying to me through different ways how all these things that I can't control, need not be controlled. I don't need to smooth them out right away. The creases and folds in silk give it beauty and grace. The delays and slowdowns in life provide their own beauty—to my soul—if I will let it.
Grace is a beautiful thing. It's all free. Last Sunday, I felt the love of God so much after I received communion I cried. If you told me that I've been so holy that week, I'll argue with you. In fact, I was only able to attend one or two weekday Mass last week I felt like I lacked spiritual strength. But that's grace. It's for the undeserving.
Today, researching for saints to write for Fish October, I came across a quote from St. Teresa of Avila, one of my most favorite saints. It says: "LET NOTHING DISTURB YOU, NOTHING DISMAY YOU. ALL THINGS ARE PASSING, GOD NEVER CHANGES. PATIENT ENDURANCE ATTAINS ALL THINGS...GOD ALONE SUFFICES." Nada de turbe. And I am speechless.
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