Nada De Turbe

I've been wanting to write about grace for weeks now. But I've gotten so busy with work lately I've only had enough time to go home and sleep after working overtime.

It's been really busy at work, what with all the devotional sets we're trying to finish and the three monthly magazines that must come out on time, plus a new book by Bo I'm trying to coordinate, and old books for reprint. Last week, I added the pressure through a freelance writing work in Singapore which required me to submit three articles. The rainy season started and, just when thunder and lightning erupted, I turned on my laptop when I arrived home, and kaput! There goes my laptop. If that's not enough, Bob's schedule has been so busy lately and his computer has been acting up we had difficulty finding time to chat and/or webcam. And, of course, his coming over is still uncertain.

In my natural, human condition—which is to say, impatient—all the delays and stresses and lack of control would drive me up the wall. But grace, which is popularly described as unmerited favor or gift, has kindly descended on me and I was and am able to face the dissonances of daily living without going too berserk—just slightly so. Hahaha. There goes berserk. In fact, this whole thing has made me quiet down my spirit inside. The Lord has made me realize that my life has been characterized unnecessarily by impatience. The deadline is today so it must be submitted today. The computer guy said they will call so why aren't they calling? Bob said he will come this summer, when exactly? But the still small Voice has been saying to me through different ways how all these things that I can't control, need not be controlled. I don't need to smooth them out right away. The creases and folds in silk give it beauty and grace. The delays and slowdowns in life provide their own beauty—to my soul—if I will let it.

Grace is a beautiful thing. It's all free. Last Sunday, I felt the love of God so much after I received communion I cried. If you told me that I've been so holy that week, I'll argue with you. In fact, I was only able to attend one or two weekday Mass last week I felt like I lacked spiritual strength. But that's grace. It's for the undeserving.

Today, researching for saints to write for Fish October, I came across a quote from St. Teresa of Avila, one of my most favorite saints. It says: "LET NOTHING DISTURB YOU, NOTHING DISMAY YOU. ALL THINGS ARE PASSING, GOD NEVER CHANGES. PATIENT ENDURANCE ATTAINS ALL THINGS...GOD ALONE SUFFICES." Nada de turbe. And I am speechless.