Perfectionist

the day is done and it's still pretty hot in this part of the world even if the weather forecast says rain and thunderstorm. Inner Beauty Conference is done. I don't know how many attended but probably on the 300 pax area. I had to man the house this morning so i wasn't able to listen in to the morning session. i was disappointed because i really wanted to listen to the talk on When Your Heart Needs Healing. but the Lord didn't allow me to so i just offered that for the sake of the conference. besides, i looked at the many servants all over the place and realized how many of them in many of our conferences never get to hear the talks because of their assignment. maybe the Lord just wanted me to hear the talk this afternoon on Relax and the final exhortation on healing. well, relaxing is not my greatest talents. i had just said to one of my companions during lunch, because she was kneading my shoulders coz i was seated to her right (she massages people), it's too good so you better stop it. that's how i usually respond to relaxation. it's too good i'd rather not have it. in heaven, i'll have all the sleep and the relaxation i could have. not here on earth yet. that would probably make me a nut case which reminds me of what fr steve, our spiritual director, said one day. he said that many of the saints, if they were measured on today's standards would be on the nut case side. balance wasn't really their big thing. it was all or nothing for them.

i happened to read a book on birth order and why you are the way you are in one of the stalls in the conference. it was interesting. once again, i got reminded of the first thing that my former small group facilitator told me when i first shared. she pegged me right on as a perfectionist. i guess i am because my immediate answer was, but there are others more perfectionistic than me! talk about defensive. but until that time, i really didn't think i was. but i think i am. the book's author said something to do with perfectionism bringing about slow death, something like that. the tendencies he wrote there were me! :) so now i have to research on it some more....:) i wonder if that further cements the label perfectionist?

my day was pretty good. i helped out in the household basically. since we had lots of people eating for lunch, it was busy. i don't like being panicky just bec there are many people and jean sometimes gets into that panic mode. praise God, everything turned out well. i was really hungry when we finished assisting coz it was i think past 1 pm already. coke! coke! oh for the taste of ice cold coke when you're famished and thirsty. i had fun after bec kuya mars ate with us also. with a "feminized" small voice he sang, "We are sisters, sisters in the Lord," one of the songs in the Inner Beauty album. he said it was ringing in his ears bec it was being played all the time in the auditorium. he sounded so funny. and then dino came in and pirouetted in front of us when we asked him how he was! of course, they were in pink too! the whole place was pink bec the color of the conference is pink. then later i saw paul, kuya mars' son and we chased around the ground for a time. but it was really hot so i went up to attend the conference. praise God, the teaching tapes for the branches and startups were also sent out though the ones for plaridel, gingoog and dipolog will have to be on monday coz they only have one pick-up person.

now, i have genrev monitoring to do. well, i've scanned the page a bit already. the Lord will have to take care of some of those threads. i don't know what to answer. i pray He will send someone to answer them. :) then here comes our community's newsletter to be proofread. i should iron my clothes coz i have nothing to wear to work next week. i should finish my living water reflections. i should...i should...i should...i have so many things i still need to do. bahala ka na, Lord. help me, Jesus. sometimes, i get so tired already at the end of a whole day of assisting that i can't work after. i still do work but in terms of accomplishing something, i'm not really sure if i've done so. and i usually sleep past 12 midnight at that.

anyways, i think i'll get off now. i don't know what i'll do first. bye and God bless!