Mustard: Best Children's Magazine

We won! We won! Hahaha. I am shouting on top of the world. Yes, Mustard won the Catholic Mass Media Awards as the Best Children's Magazine. Actually, the award night was last October 29 yet. But I had to go on vacation to Bohol the next day and it's been really hectic for me because of Kerygma Conference 2008 this November 29 and 30.

But today, I want to just pause a little and say thank you to the Lord through this means. He is good!!! Our other publication, Fish magazine, also won as Best Youth Magazine. Isn't that great?!

Bumming on Holiday

We had a holiday last Monday, Apr 7, in honor of Araw ng Kagitingan which is really celebrated today (Apr 9). I don't agree with the government's doing that because I feel it makes the whole point of the celebration moot and does not make us better as a people culturally, but as a worker, that's to our advantage. Long weekend for us. For me, it was even longer. I had a training half-day of Thursday. The rest of Thursday and then Friday I opted to use for my mandatory leave. That left me with several days of free days.

I was thinking of using those days to write the ebook I'm doing for my freelance writing work. I was able to do some research and reading but basically, I just bummed my way through those days. I read two romance novels (the Steeple Hills brand or the other one, another inspirational brand are my usual fare—they have Christian themes so the love stories are still Christ-centered and the stories or plot are good; the other one was done by Nora Roberts, her old and classic love stories. If you're a romance novel fan you'd know that she has steamy stories but I discovered her earlier works which are really funny and have good plots, and they're clean). The other one that I really wanted to do was to watch "Lovers," a Korean telenovela starring the woman who starred in "Lovers in Paris." Her name is Kim Jung-eun, apparently a well-known Korean actress. I wanted to but the DVD that I got was not working properly and I was only able to get the replacement by Sunday afternoon. So from Sunday, around 4pm, I started to watch the show. I stopped Monday, 6am. I slept a little and woke up again around 8am plus. I started watching again at 9am plus Monday and finished around 8:40pm that day. Whew!!!

I had fun doing that as the show was funny and touching. My personal success for me was that I was able to bum without too much guilt. Though when I think about it, even my bumming is still a bit competitive and rigorous. Next time I should try to bum where I really will not do anything and will not stay awake so late. Maybe try to sleep in until late morning or something like that. Hehehe.

St. Therese of Lisieux

I've finished re-reading "Story of a Soul," the autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux for my article for Kerygma July. (Free download of PDF file when you join Kerygma Family). After I read the book translated by John Beevers, I read another book on St. Therese. This one is by Kathryn Harrison and is titled "Saint Therese of Lisieux."

St. Therese if my most favorite saint—man or woman. I actually am partial to the Carmelites especially to St. Teresa and St. John. What I love about St. Therese most of all is that I find after reading her autobiography, I know that I can have a shot at becoming a saint through her Little Way. I do want to be a saint, something that the Church tells us we should aspire for. Not that at this time and age, it is that easy. I realize that when I read the book by Harrison. I'm not yet through with it yet but some passages left me feeling down. I understand where she is at actually because she is just taking into account today's points of view—psychology and all those modern stuff. But there's a part of me that dislikes it. Why? Because it's like tainting heaven with the mire and the muck of the world. I may seem idealistic but because I think of St. Therese as a holy young girl who tried her best to love God, to color her experiences with her need for a mother figure, her fascination with death with the influence of her mother, the sexual undertones of her words, etc, is to me to look at this reality from the wrong perspective. Therese' reality was a reality of the innocent, the pure and the chosen. Putting in the element of psychology and related view and understanding of her situation denigrates her and her testimony. She is such a powerful intercessor and witness precisely because she was singleminded about her pursuit of God. Precisely that's why she's a saint. I wouldn't be surprised if she had sexual desires (latent or otherwise) but they didn't drive her. The desires didn't shape her dreams and ambitions. She just really wanted to love God. And perhaps there lies the whole point in modern understanding of the saints. (I have read the reviews and articles by secular authors on the recent book taken from the diary of Mother Teresa of Calcutta). It seems we cannot seem to accept this particular drive per se—we could not accept that as a drive that for some people wholly consumes them, or at least, something that they wanted to be consumed about. Sex has to get into the subject. Or some other negative influence. Or family background. Where is grace? Where is faith? Where is calling? And there lies the sorrow. Because we modern people don't want to accept that the love of God, the pursuit of God could be a beautiful, wonderful all-consuming passion, we don't have it. And we have become so much poorer because of it.

Holy Week 2008 in Manila

Holy Week 2008 was a great time for me. I stayed in Manila and participated in the activities at Don Bosco during the Holy Week celebrations. Manila is a quiet place during Holy Week emptied as it is by people going to their respective provinces or to go to the beach. So it's a good place to stay in to keep silent and to meditate. Though this year my roommates stayed on in Manila so it wasn't as quiet as I would have wanted, it was okay as they left for Laguna Thursday afternoon.

Holy Tuesday, I was already on vacation leave. I wanted to finish my outline for the ebook I'm doing for an American client. Praise God, I was able to finish it that day and submitted it though my deadline was still on that Wednesday, March 19. I was actually a bit weak that Tuesday because I went on a juice fast starting Monday and I guess the effect of fasting started to come in that Tuesday. I slept and wrote and then slept again as I felt weak. But Wednesday, I had no problems with hunger. Dina, Nova and I spent the day at Caleruega in Batangas, a beautiful place that I really love. We stayed there and had silence and quiet to meditate, pray and talk a little. I was happy as it gave me time to look at where I am spiritually and as a whole in my life. When I tried to see if I am any better spiritually, I acknowledged that I had a lot of healing to do in the area of forgiveness (even now). I wasn't sure if I have grown any better spiritually but the words from "My Utmost for His Highest" reassured me. I don't have the copy now but it said something about the walk of faith not being of being always feeling high with the Lord but of walking and not getting tired. I understood it as walking with the Lord does not mean that you always feel you are any better for walking with Him but you just walk on without that reassurance of heaven, of being a good person. Because when we really come down to it, we really aren't any good anyways. I was also blessed with an insight into my writing career or call. I read the verse for that day for the Mass which came from Isaiah and it said something like, "The Lord has given me a well-trained tongue so that I may speak words that will rouse the many." I changed the "tongue" to "hand" referring to my writing and understood my writing as something to do with giving people life, giving people hope or encouragement, that through my writing I will be able to enable people to want to go on, or be given more verve in life.

Thursday afternoon, I attended the 6pm activities at Don Bosco then Ate Alice and I went to Manila Cathedral in Intramuros for Visita Iglesia. If we thought the Makati churches had many visitors to its churches last year, we got the shock of our life when we went to Intramuros—it looked like Divisoria. There were so many people coming in and out, and even across the street and going to San Agustin, the neighboring cathedral and the oldest church in the country. But we were able to do our Way of the Cross. We even got to kiss the cross that had a relic from the true cross. Then we went to San Agustin and I was surprised at what I saw. There are tombstones or markers at the foot of the side altars. I found it really eerie after I noticed that I was actually walking on squarish lapidas of long dead people. There is even one chapel to the left of the church that's the burial site of the Ayalas. On our way there, Ate and I prayed the Rosary and then when we went home we prayed the Chaplet of Mercy. That was the first time I got introduced to the chaplet and I liked it especially bec we listened to a recording and it had readings from Sr. Faustina's diary which I found helpful and edifying. We arrived around midnight.

Friday I watched the 12 noon of Jesus' Last Seven Words. Rissa was there (my editor-in-chief) and her talk was really good. Something to do with Mother Mary and she related it to her mother having alzheimer, how those who still have mothers be patient with them, how those who don't have mothers (or whose mothers have rejected them) turn to Mary as their own mother. I cried a little there as I don't have a mother anymore. Then I attended the 3pm services at Don Bosco. We had a longish procession afterwards. Then I watched the Kerygma Lenten Special on ABC 5. It was really, really good. The show focused on the theme of that Friday being a time of darkness (Jesus being dead), how we accompany Him and how some people (the people featured in the show) encountered Jesus during their darkness. There was an ex-gay, a former male prostitute, a woman who hacked her husband and was imprisoned for 10 years, and another who lost his leg in a freak golf accident and lost along with it, his wife and his children. I agreed with Ate Chelle that Sunday when I saw her and congratulated her again (she's the administrator for Kerygma TV) that it deserves a CMMA Award. Papa Domy texted me after and thanked me for asking me to watch the show as he said it blessed him.

I worked on that Saturday on the ebook. Sunday, I served as lector for three Masses at the Feast. I initially wanted to attend the Salubong at Don Bosco but I was called to serve Friday to be a reader for the three Masses at the Feast so I agreed as my little offering for Jojo's birthday that Saturday and for Zon, Jojo's son who had his birthday that Easter Sunday. It turned out, I even did all the readings for the 3rd Mass as the other reader didn't show up. That made me happy. When you read and listen again and again to Scripture, the words become clearer in the mind and in the heart. It is true that there is some cloud or veil when I initially read parts of Scripture. I guess because I am a sinner and unwilling to face to the truth. It takes courage to read the Scripture. At the third reading, the words sink deeper and gives more meaning.

The Holy Week was a great time for me. I found it a time of refreshing and renewal in the Lord. I feel that I have a new lease now in my spiritual life—a desire to be better in my walk with the Lord and in my relationship with others. God is good!!!

The Exclusive and Inclusive Love of God

There was transportation strike two days ago. Bus and jeepney drivers were protesting against the multi-ticketing system in Manila. They get ticketed by MMDA (Metro Manila Development Authority) and then they get ticketed by the local police when they reach the outlying cities or places (like Rizal, Mandaluyong, etc). So they demanded that there be only one ticketing system. I understand their concern. Especially because there are kotong police who just wants to earn money by ticketing a driver so they get "under-the-table" money.

Anyways, so it wasn't easy to ride. I wanted to go to Mass before I go to office but there was no jeep going to Don Bosco plying by the Washington-Libertad route. So I went to the Dela Rosa area to wait for a jeep going straight to the Magallanes MRT. Good thing there was a jeep (quolorum actually) that was taking in passengers going to the MRT. Then when I got down at Cubao MRT, there was another jeep who was plying the Fairview route on his way home. I felt very loved by the Lord and told my officemates about it. In the course of that day and how it turned out—meaning, that I was provided for—it came to me that the love of God is not exclusive.

What I mean is, I was provided for. And that is good and very kind of the Lord. And I know He loves me. At the same time, just because He loves me and provided for me, it doesn't mean, I am the only one He loves or I am more special or more favored than the others. The love of God is both exclusive and all-encompassing. Exclusive and inclusive. I have no reason to boast or feel self-righteous or more important because the same love that He showered me He also showers and shows to the rest of His children. It is that kind of love.

Update on My Life

I have been intently facing my laptop for the past days. Any time that I have, I've been online reading and studying internet marketing. It's a pretty exciting time for me. I have a lot to learn but I'm learning slowly and I'm so happy I joined Wealthy Affiliate. I can't even remember now how I got to learn about the program. I have been searching, buying(!)ebooks, building websites (would you believe it, but yes), studying as I really want to go into internet marketing.

This may be a side of me that those who just know me as a writer or as a Catholic servant don't know but I have wanted to enter the internet business for sometime now. Check out my other blog to read up on my working life journey and why someone like me, who didn't want to own even a set of keys would go into something so "unholy."

In short, I have realized it's not really unholy. I am not a cloistered nun, I'm a lay person and therefore, I must earn a living ("If you don't work, you should not eat" as St. Paul said). So after I left fulltime lay ministry work, it followed that I must earn a living. What would be unholy is to be dependent on others when I am fully capable of earning a living. So that being decided, what is the next step? That of course, I must excel. I love my work now with Shepherd's Voice Publications but as Bo himself encourages people to go on business, I have come to realize why multinational companies "pamper" their employees. Because when your income is not enough, you will find means of adding to it.

So if you want to know more about internet marketing, affiliate marketing, article marketing, search engine optimization I know a thing or two about those words now than I did a few days ago. And I'm amazed at my ignorance when I started my website before (of course it failed). The next time I do start one, it will be a success. Uh, and this whole article -- it's not search-engine optimized.

Another Edsa?

It's the evening of February 25 and once again, the Philippines commemorated the first Edsa Revolution. I was still in high school when the 1986 revolt happened though I was able to join Edsa 2 and was even part of the people who cordoned off a certain part of the stage in Edsa. GMA was there being interviewed on one side, Bong Revilla came with his barangay-load of guards, and many other well-known personalities. I was also at Edsa when GMA was sworn in as the new president. I saw the ceremony with my own eyes.

I have not attended any of the rallies against GMA held recently because of the ZTE-NBN Deal. I wanted to but my other commitments were in conflict. I also have questions to ask myself and I guess the rest of the Filipinos. Because, as much as I hate, detest, abhor the oppression the government is doing to Jun Lozada for his desire to speak the truth, I have unresolved issues and points to raise:

1. If we replace GMA, will this end the corruption in our country? I don't think so. As Jun Lozada said, the system is subject to corruption. We have to change how the system works if we want corruption to stop. Meaning, there must be checks and balances. For example, in the bidding of contracts, we need to apply what Jun Lozada said about the loopholes in it.

2. I have nothing against rallies, picket lines and marches. I have done that when I was a student or even after I graduated. But the right to express oneself also accompanies a responsibility that we on our own live out the good that we desire. For example, we want to oust GMA because of her involvement (or at least for turning a blind eye), to corruption being done by family and friends. At the same time, do we also bribe others? Do we give a little grease money to the police so that we won't be ticketed (wrongly or rightly)? Do we allow our votes to be bought? Do we pay our taxes?

3. Okay, just for the sake of argument, we have a new president, Noli or someone else. Afterwards, do we continue to bicker, put down ourselves and our fellow Filipinos, only support projects that belong to our party-mates? How long will our unity continue? Can we not agree to disagree, to have rational and intelligent discussions and arguments without us taking these things personally? Can we live with constructive criticism?

These are just three things that I can think of right now. What we as Filipino people will choose to do or not do will have an effect on our future as a country and as a people. My prayer is that the Lord grant us wisdom to know what is right, the courage to choose it, and the perseverance to continue on that road till the end.